I'm not even wanted in my own home. I let everyone down and I've finally come to terms with the fact that everything IS my fault. All this time I've been pushing it into other people, blinded from my own design.
I have a problem where I eat my emotions, so I stopped trying to pay attention to when I was eating for real or when I was eating because I had anxiety. I get one to one and a half meals a day. It keeps me alive.