If both parents truly support shared parenting the effort towards making that happen would be equal. Bashing the other parent or fearing the kids might like it there too much is not an equal effort. Doing what is best for the child is an equal effort.
Leadership is about helping and serving others. Empowering and bringing out the best in them. Positively influencing the lives of others is a key component of leadership. If you are not ready to do this, you are not ready to lead.