The symptoms of abuse are there, and the woman usually sees them: the escalating frequency of put-downs. Early generosity turning more and more to selfishness. Verbal explosions when he is irritated or when he doesn’t get his way. Her grievances.
The term malignant narcissism is now being used by many as an alternative to narcissist personality disorder. It reflects the nastiness, destruction and the draining of life energy imposed by narcissists on their victims.