The term malignant narcissism is now being used by many as an alternative to narcissist personality disorder. It reflects the nastiness, destruction and the draining of life energy imposed by narcissists on their victims.
The symptoms of abuse are there, and the woman usually sees them: the escalating frequency of put-downs. Early generosity turning more and more to selfishness. Verbal explosions when he is irritated or when he doesn’t get his way.
Hindsight is always the best sight...when I look back I can see very clear symptoms of narcissism that was present in the narcissist I wound up marrying. Man...
Another of the symptoms of narcissism shows up if they can't have what you have (for example, a skill). In this case they will often set out to destroy you in some way so that you can't use that skill either.