Put your hands up for Dirk Kuyt... and use them to cover your eyes.

Put your hands up for Dirk Kuyt.

Steve Ogrizovic. Like Jaws off of Bond, but ace in goal.

Like Jaws off of Bond, but ace in goal.

Trifon ‘The Wolfman’ Ivanov. Bulgarian midfielder. Looks like the Iron Curtain fell on his face.

Trifon Marinov Ivanov ( 27 July 1965 – 13 February was a Bulgarian international footballer who played as a defender. He died of a heart attack.

Peter Beardsley. Looks like someone kicked the photocopier while he was being printed.

Looks like someone kicked the photocopier while he was being printed.

Steve Bruce, great player, average manager, terrible author http://tinyurl.com/7vw3qsl .

Steve Bruce was a key figure in Manchester Uniteds early Premier League success

Ronaldinho. Like a black Cleetus the slack jawed yokel

Brazilian legend Ronaldinho has signed with Liga MX club Querétaro!


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