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truth!

truth!

"I don't even chase my shots, what makes you think I'll chase after you?"

I hate the quotes on the pastel background, but this is so true. I never chase shots, and should really stop chasing men…

That was extremely inappropriate. . . and the best thing I have ever read. lol

17 Hysterical Greeting Cards Perfect For Your Smartass Friends And Loved Ones - Dose - Your Daily Dose of Amazing

I know a few that would benefit from some super glue for sure!

Some people should use a glue stick instead of Chapstick, lmfao!

Love this!

Awesome women have curves & tattoos :)

I'm sorry, I guess you didn't get the memo. You have officially been removed from my life so you can stop stalking me any day now.

And stop having your "friends" stalk me too.

Cf cough

Cf cough

I have tried running, but I kept spilling my wine.  There goes THAT New Year's resolution!

Funny Confession Ecard: I have tried running, but I kept spilling my wine.try a sippy cup, Candi!

1396050_450609765051455_592694217_n.jpg 420×294 pixels

Sometimes, even I can't tell if I'm being sarcastic or if I'm really just a bitch. SO TRUE!

Image from https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/18/0b/d1/180bd1afa8233ff98afb99327b504104.jpg.

Free and Funny Reminders Ecard: The phone works both ways. Just a reminder to those who may have forgot.

Don't Trip Chicken Strip~ I gotta wrap for those Busted Biscuits, Muffin Tops, Flapping Arms & Waddling Chins... Tighten, Tone & Firm the area of your choice for only $25!!  Call/Text: 206-261-0096

I'm feeling like the can of busted biscuits today.

This one is for you Misty! Lol

I double dog dare ya.

Me & cars?

i finally know what skinny feels like, hungry, it feels hungry

I may not be skinny, but I'm freaking awesome and that's basically the same thing.

ecards: I may not be skinny, but I'm freaking awesome and that's basically the same thing.

The only honest people are small children & drunk people

Only if it is inside my house...or tent......or car for that matter.  But if it outside in it's natural habitat, I'm glad they don't want me dead. :)

Yep, of the time, no exceptions. lol I HATE spiders!

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