this is soooo true

Parenting is threatening to throw their crap away if they don’t clean it up.

and that's just the FIRST flight!

They say you should kill mean people with kindness, so I will be sure to blow them a kiss after I swoop down & hit them in the head with my broom.

TGIF! .... Wait I work Weekends.

Wait I work Weekends. Do not tell cashiers, waiters, or retail staff to have a good weekend. They will hate you.

Telling us to "calm down" only makes it worse, folks...

I Can't Keep Calm Because I Have Anxiety | Tank Top | Carry On Shirt

HA, so me! "I can't keep calm because I have anxiety"

It's funny 'cause it's true.

Kids have so much energy because they siphon it out of their parents like midget gasoline thieves.

Seduced by the New...

then a part of me is all like "Every day is a holiday so I'm going to wear a party dress just because I can".

First Time Mom and Dad: The Best of Som(ee) Parenting Cards--Wordless Wednesday and Hump Day Humor FTM&D Style)

Here's to every mother who has ever eaten a candy bar in a closet, because frankly, you just don't want to share.

ROFL!!!! ~Mom is frantic & asking us to hurry up, you go dump all the cereal out & pour syrup on it, I'm pooping my pants right now & going to throw all the shoes in the toilet

This is so my children! Funny Family Ecard: Mom is frantic & asking us to hurry up, you go dump all the cereal out & pour syrup on it, I'm pooping my pants right now & going to throw all the shoes in the toilet.

Reality check.  This was definitely me!

this is so true for me. why is it my sister can take my kids to Target everyday with NO PROBLEM?

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