I have heard people (maybe even me at some points of my journey) talk about “the God of the Old Testament,” as if the birth of Jesus fundamentally changed the kind of God we worship. Though it is true the incarnation brought something new and incomprehensibly beautiful, and though it is true Jesus offers a depth of redemption during this life that was not available before, it is also true that our God is the same God He has always been.
I want to know what that pregnancy was like. Did Jesus kick a lot? Was He an active baby, stretching his arms and legs, anxious to break free into the world? Or was He content to rest as He waited out the process of growth? How did His body and Mary’s body struggle together in the birth process? Were the contractions strong? The labor arduous and slow? Whatever the answers to those questions, it is the asking of them that brings me to wonder.
"Daddy, will you kiss it?" It is our uncertainty about God's answer to that question that holds us back in our prayers. In so many ways, it's what we really want to know. God, will you pause what you are doing, come down to my level, look in my eyes, and acknowledge my pain?
What does it mean to encounter I AM? Suddenly, what once felt formal and distant, feels intimate and powerful. And I’m reminded how so much in what prayer and praise feels like returns to how we view God.