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I am impressed that your child potty trained before 2 years old. Now when will he be curing cancer?

Just when I think my house is a disaster, an episode of 'Hoarders' comes on and I feel like Martha Stewart.

Haha......Totally!

me-mom. i want a child. mom-okay. hours later** mom (phone)-i have a lead.

He does have a track record of whipping asses to clean out the den of liars, cheats, and thieves. Just saying. ♡Lemon

Funny Breakup Ecard: I know the Bible talks about forgiveness and all but I'm pretty sure Jesus would hold my purse while I kicked your ass.

To all the people who say 'only working three 12 hour shifts can't be that hard...it's only 36 hours a week'...mmmm....k....

Funny Workplace Ecard: I wear bodily fluids that aren't mine, I work weekends & holidays, I get screamed at & have my hands in other peoples orifices. Tell me again how hard you work?

HAD to pin for ASHLEY. LOL. She could say this all day where she works. "Congrats on getting away with stuff I would get fired for".

Pretty sure this was my last job! Pretty sure I got fired got the same stuff my co-worker was doing. Even though I still have no idea why I got fired

Sorry you chose to get butthurt over what I said. I can't help that you won't face facts.

Free and Funny Apology Ecard: Sorry you chose to get butthurt over what I said. I can't help that you won't face facts.

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From all the drama, backstabbing, and tattling, sometimes I can't figure out if I'm in elementary school or middle school. Sounds just like Westport.

Migraineurs and perfume :-(

stop wearing nasty perfume people! Can't you smell it? I have 2 loved ones who get migraines, feel lethargic, lungs close up.

I deserve an Oscar for every time I have to pretend to pay attention during office meetings.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: I deserve an Oscar for every time I have to pretend to pay attention during office meetings.

I've about as much energy as a randy politicians smartphone battery after hours of antics they'll later apologise for. | Workplace Ecard

Ohhhhh, so THAT'S why you guys all smile and nod at me all day!

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