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I'm smiling because you're my brother... I'm laughing because there is nothing you can do about it.

I have PMS, ADD & OCD. I want to kill you, but I can't focus on that right now, I have to go wash my hands. totally me!

I don't understand how some women have 20 plus bridesmaids. I don't even like that many people. | Wedding Ecard | someecards.com

this is the most accurate thing ever. I don't get the whole bridesmaid thing, period. They get people they hardly ever talk to so it looks like they actually have friends.

If you can't say something nice...

Mom always said, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them. This made me laugh! So true!

How about this year for your birthday, you grow the fuck up? This ain't Neverland.

I finally made my own someecard! i said this one day and thought to myself, I should make that an ecard. I mean you know how clever those church signs can be, come on! love it!

Join my P90X3 Challenge Group beginning on June 2, 2014. During May, Team Beachbody is offering a discount on P90X3 & Turbo Fire Challenge Packs. The P90X3 Challenge Pack promotion is only $180 (normally $205) and Turbo Fire only $140 (normally $180). When you join our Challenge Group you'll get your choice of a Shakeology Shaker or a Shakeology Tote Bag. A free gift from yours truly. Write me to supremehomefitness@gmail.com or visit: http://supremehomefitness.automaticceo.com

It's all fun & games till. your jeans don't fit anymore. The fun & games ended 2 days ago 😳!


I often walk a fine line between "super fun" mom and "kinda psychotic, maybe we should call the authorities" mom. This is the kind of mom that I will be. only time will tell.

eat some celery | Homeopathic Weight Management

But I have cheese dip in the fridge and I'm fresh out of celery, soooooo. my heart says cheese dip, but my jeans say, for the love of God woman, eat some celery

London Eye - I crossed this off my list in 2005 with one of my best friends in the world.

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: Bring on the warmer temperatures! Oh wait. I'm too fat for summer right now.