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I"d tell you to kiss my ass, but I'm pretty sure you'd fall in love, and then I'd never get rid of you.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry, I'm not Adele. I don't wish the best for you nor do I want to find someone like you. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry, I'm not Adele. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff. Too funny

Wouldn't it be SO great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free ...and three sizes smaller? | Confession Ecard

Listen bitch, I'm being as polite as I possibly can. Hate being stuck on the phone with customer service !

Instead of replying to her rude comments, I highlighted all her grammatical and spelling errors and sent back a note saying, 'Bitch, I can't read this, try again.'

Instead of replying to her rude comments, I highlighted all her grammatical and spelling errors and sent back a note saying, 'Bitch, I can't read this, try again. I totally do this!

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

My husband said I woke up and slapped him one night and the next morning I told him I had a dream he cheated on me.

Just saying

Just saying

All I want to do is read!" *deepthroats 4 guys named Kyle, goes to a Skrillex concert* (Submitted by

I talk a lot about tequila, drinking and having a good time. I could count on my fingers alone the number of times I've actually had a drink so far this year. (Need the fingers to help me count; sure can't do it in my head... too stoned.) Just kidding. LOL!

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: We're not alcoholics. We generally only drink on the weekends. Except for special occasions. And boredom. And Thursdays. Which some people consider weekends.

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