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To my daughters

Dear Daughters, Should I ever learn you've been twerking anywhere, at any time, I will learn to do it myself and make sure I chaperon every single dance you ever go to. Love, Mom Too bad my mom already tries to twerk and I'm an adult

Pretty sure wendy feels this way towards me...not so much how I feel.

This is me-the only child part! Funny Confession Ecard: If you don't understand how a woman can both love her sister and want to wring her neck at the same time, you were probably an only child.

I have turned off the water so many times to listen!

Shower Schizophrenia- EVERY DAMN TIME. The constant belief that you hear a child crying while you're trying to take a shower.

Mama Bear. I don't care what you say about me, but mess with my baby and you'll be one sorry motherfucker

Funny Family Ecard: I am about to show you what happens when you mess with one of my kids. You should probably brace yourself, this is going to hurt.

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Funny Family Ecard: Sometimes I look at my husband and think. You are one lucky son of a bitch.

ツ

I often walk a fine line between "super fun" mom and "kinda psychotic, maybe we should call the authorities" mom. This is the kind of mom that I will be. only time will tell.

TRUE LOVE... so true

Totally made me think of Kenzi "Mommy has a boogie in her nose. David has a boogie in his nose.

Illustrates how frustrating sassy back talk can be.

Funny Confession Ecard: I'm always worried about the safety of my children, especially when they get all sassy and think they can back talk me.

We call it ADNC...Attention Deficit Needing Clyde

I suffer from ADCD: Attention Deficit Cleaning Disorder. It's where you start to clean one thing, but get distracted by another thing that needs cleaning. That causes you to bounce from one job to another only to end up doing a lot of work with nothing to

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