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I wasnt that drunk. I drove myself home. don't even try denying it.I drove you home while you drove with a paper plate. I thought that was a dreamidiot.

I replaced sh*t with poo for you guys and for the sake that I don't get my head chopped off haha

Then he went to burger shot and yelled at the clerk, "whats your nam!" The clerk said, "Squidward haha" I said, " Give me the krabby pattie formula!

But even if u r color blind, the colors will still be different,so being color blind doesn't effect how good u do

Totally Worth It

But even if u r color blind, the colors will still be different,so being color blind doesn't effect how good u do<<<unless you're red green colorblind

Autocorrect Fails and Funny Text Messages - SmartphOWNED

Autocorrect Fails and Funny Text Messages - SmartphOWNED.haha sorry Mom but thats ur move lol

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Other - TomHow drunk was IYou know that squirrel outside my house, the one that eats all the seeds from the bird feeder?YeahYou tried throwing it in my pool while screaming 'SANDY CHEEKS, BIKINI BOTTOM NEEDS YOU.

HA HA HA Ha ha ha...

You were so drunk last night!Your joking, I barely drank. You yelled ''THIS IS SPARTA'' then kicked your sister off the porch!Dude, that happens every other day.Well do you do it naked, with a pot on your head, and a shovel in your hand?

Sounds Like Someone Had One Too Many Butterbeers...

33 of the Best "I Wasn't That Drunk" Texts

Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking unable to remember your 80 proof-antics from the night before? Sometimes when you aren’t sure exactly what happened, play.

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