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"I don’t like making plans for the day because then the word premeditated gets thrown around in the courtroom" (ecards)

Let's be friends

You have a sick, twisted mind. Do you want to be my friend? So true

yourecards | Tumblr - Click image to find more Humor Pinterest pins

Singing to a song you don't really know. But that 15 second part you do know is coming and your gonna own that shit. Story of my life!

Funny Confession Ecard: My shopping trips usually consist of me filling my cart up with stuff, and then slowly putting everything back.

Funny Confession Ecard: My shopping trips usually consist of me filling my cart up with stuff, and then slowly putting everything

@

Rottenecards - Dear Lord, So far today I've done alright. I haven't gossiped, been greedy grumpy, nasty or selfish. But in a few minutes I'm going to get out of bed and I'm going to need a lot more help.

word. Unless it is to make the room stop spinning

My brother told me aliens and monsters lived under the bed.then the next morning I stuck my led off and hit the dog's leg and thought it was a monster's leg.from then on i would crawl to the end of the bed and take a flying leap out of my room :D

If some people could read my mind maybe they would grow a pair and ask me out already.

Free, Confession Ecard: The two things girls wonder about the most - where bruises come from and bobby pins go.

Definitely deal with this more often than needed

Free and Funny Encouragement Ecard: I like that you try to compete with me - at least you have a goal. Unrealistic and unattainable, but it's a goal.

LMAO, yes! Even worse when one of my children sing some of the songs out today!!

That awkward moment when you're singing a song you used to sing a lot as a kid. AND you suddenly understand the lyrics. (Practically every song ever recorded by Prince!

That sounds about right!

My bathing suit told me to go to the gym, but my sweat pants were like "nah girl, you're good". My bathing suit is going to beat the crap out of my sweat pants.

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