Explore Funny Drunk Quotes, Funny Alcohol Quotes and more!

Agreed

Alcohol should be served in Capri Sun pouches. When you can't get the straw in the hole anymore you've had enough.

Gives me the chills just thinking about it!!!!

Don’t trust those people…

I don't trust people who can bite their ice cream without flinching. That shits not natural. I do this all the time!

Beer before liquor sure makes you sick!

Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead. Haha thus the reason I rarely drink orange juice I about died!

I talk an awful lot of smack for someone who tips over when putting on their underwear

I talk an awful lot of smack for someone who tips over when putting on their underwear. Gotta have humor when your have MS.

i'm not arguing i'm just explaining why i'm correct.

I'm Not Arguing

Feed me and rub my back. Digitally printed on an athletic tri-blend t-shirt. You'll love it's classic fit and ultra-soft feel. Each shirt is printed to order an

This is so my Grace!! Seriously, my Grandma Cherry would be proud of her! She WANTS tosave everything!

Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing away ANYTHING, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican Drug Lord.

In its defense...

Quotes: In alcohol's defense I've done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too!

I had this problem when I was sick recently! What do they hold it together with?!

"Oh you're sick and really weak? Here, tear open this steel package for medicine. Migraine meds-- oh yeah!

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