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Bahahahahaha! #sorrynotsorry

sorry you missed the smart train and ended up on the bacl of the fucktard wagon, then fell out and into the dumbass ditch.

Divorced finally and this is exactly how I feel!!

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you the biggest disappointment of my life. You may now kiss my ass.

My give a damn is busted

shoot pack lunch dinner breakfast for the next day because its going to take a long while funny ecard

I'm going to hell in every religion.

The story of my life. // I was hoping for a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.

Oh, you don't like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck. | Breakup Ecard | someecards.com

Funny Thinking of You Ecard: Eat shit and die bitch. Sincerely, Your Friends.some people.

I wish street cred qualified me for a home loan. Realtor Humor.

Free and Funny Flirting Ecard: Just admit it, all any woman wants in life is to do Christian Grey-ish things to the entire cast of Magic Mike.

5 Secrets to Fitting in with the Italian Locals - http://www.whataboutitaly.com/scoop-it/5-secrets-to-fitting-in-with-the-italian-locals/

biggest pet peeve when people interrupt the middle of your sentence.

Oh there's some people I would love to say this to!

I know I should respect your opinion but I find that difficult because you're a fucking idiot. I hate when ignorant people have an opinion about something they know absolutely NOTHING about!

I've got a better chance of finding a unicorn than I do of going through a whole day without dealing with some fucktard *true story*

So shady

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: Would you like some sun? Cause you're shady as fuck.

Maybe your dick is so small because you took 3/4 & shoved it into your personality

Maybe your dick is so small because you took of it and shoved it into your personality. This makes me laugh every time I read it :)

Haha yucky

Funny Confession Ecard: My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis and asked what was I doing. Apparently, heating your dinner was not the right answer.

Haha! I need to do this!

ok i really need to remember this. i get random numbers calling me all the time!