Clouds are white for the same reason as ice. They are composed of water droplets or ice crystals mixed with air, very little light that strikes them is absorbed, and most of the light is scattered, appearing to the eye as white. Shadows of other clouds above can make clouds look gray, and some clouds have their own shadow on the bottom of the cloud.
you are not a sucker if you suck it up and move forward... don't keep going back to the same place it's not going to get smaller by giving your attention to it again and again. see the gift, lesson, and be determined to create something more healthy, more delicious.