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sooo me I've been trying to find this quote forever!

Do this all the time when I was little because I just watch a scary movie. But now scary movies don't bother me. I think that they are funny as hell but still to this day. I Run up the stairs do no one will kill me

Same goes for turning off the light,  running across the room and launching yourself into bed...yep!

Oh god I can relate too much. I turn the lights off and it gets pretty dark in the house. I can do this, theres nothing to hurt me. LOLXD I just peg it up the stairs and into my room slam the door and turn the light on.

You mad bro?

this is a true story. omg i hate it when people ask me something multiple times. drives me nuts



i totally drop it like its hot on Matt when we are cooking and so Owen started to tell me to "dance on daddy!" and NOW owen joins me in dropping it like its hot.

This actually happens all the time! #girlproblem @Mary Powers Rose @Aly Dratch Schwitzenager

SO ME! - "I Can Relate: Going Shopping w/Money & Nothing to Find; Going Shopping w/out Money & Wanting Everything in Sight"

funny statements | funny statements

well, it is pretty awkward! someone told me to tell someone about their zipper and I didn't know what to do!


It's either cold enough for uggs or warm enough for shorts. It cannot be both. AMEN THIS IS NOT CUTE! and tights doesn't make it okay either. you can't wear tights and shorts and uggs. stop it.

Oh my god!!! I totally thought this same exact saying and punch line when I was pumping the other day!  I thought I was all funny for coming up with it. Guess I'm not original ;)

A Funny Mom Quotes --> truth. definitely okay to cry over spilled breastmilk

"Like a museum." Tell me about it!!

Museum of "Two Kids Live in This House"! ummmm yes this is my entire house