Daughter, I think painting the lower cabinets in a charcoal and the uppers in white gives the kitchen a more "living" space look. I also think the counter tops and backsplash need to blend in and not be a statement piece. After all you DON'T want the kitchen to be the focal point in your small "all in one" space.
Modern country style shaker kitchen from the 'paintable' range at Just Click Kitchens. The cabinetry is supplied unfinished and ready to paint. This kitchen was hand finished in Farrow & Ball Cornforth White.