The Rochdale Herald

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Driving Home For Christmas

Chris Rea not driving home for Christmas as Teesside enters Tier 3 Covid restrictions - The Rochdale Herald

Chris Rea not driving home for Christmas as Teesside enters Tier 3 Covid restrictions -- Chris Rea has been forced to abandon plans to drive home for Christmas after it was announced that Middlesbrough has entered Tier 3 Covid restrictions. A disappointed Mr Rea will be spending December in the car park of Newport Pagnell services after losing his Berkshire estate gambling on stock car racing and underground puppy fights. […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQF

Deadly brain eating microbe starves to death in Texas water supply -- Brain eating microbes in the water supply in Lake Jackson Texas have been found either starved to death or suffering from extreme malnutrition. Tests have confirmed the presence of the amoeba Naegleria fowleri in the system. The amoeba can cause an infection of the brain, but given the absolute absence of brains in many parts […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQB Les Microbes, Rainforest Trees, Colloidal Gold, Bacterial Diseases, Green Revolution, Backyard Poultry, Biofilm, Computer Engineering, Microbiology

Deadly brain eating microbe starves to death in Texas water supply - The Rochdale Herald

Deadly brain eating microbe starves to death in Texas water supply -- Brain eating microbes in the water supply in Lake Jackson Texas have been found either starved to death or suffering from extreme malnutrition. Tests have confirmed the presence of the amoeba Naegleria fowleri in the system. The amoeba can cause an infection of the brain, but given the absolute absence of brains in many parts […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQB

Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices -- Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries to transport people into city centres. The UK Transport Secretary has made a deal worth £185 million with one of his ex-public school mates who has no ships and has never […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQm Uk Transport, Uk History, Herald, Public School, Suburban, Hiring, Ferry, Grant

Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices - The Rochdale Herald

Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices -- Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries to transport people into city centres. The UK Transport Secretary has made a deal worth £185 million with one of his ex-public school mates who has no ships and has never […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQm

Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

Channel

British Prime Ministers

Boris Johnson praises BBC for spending £250m on non-existent PPE for the Proms - The Rochdale Herald

Boris Johnson praises BBC for spending £250m on non-existent PPE for the Proms -- Boris Johnson has said that Britain shouldn’t be ashamed about the BBC’s decision to spend £250m on non-existent PPE for the Last Night of the Proms. Mr Johnson said, “We should be proud that the BBC bought a load of non-existent PPE from a company that sells second hand dolls because the Director General is […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQl

Michael Gove "more slippery than Teflon" -- Independent research at the Technical University of Rochdale has found that Michael Gove is more slippery than Teflon – and that a patent has been applied for which could revolutionise the development of a new generation of non-stick pans. Rather than go to the expense and difficulty of sticking a non-stick coating to the inside […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQj Laboratory Equipment, Lab Equipment, Interesting Blogs, Technical University, Lab Supplies, Medical Laboratory, Teflon

Michael Gove "more slippery than Teflon" - The Rochdale Herald

Michael Gove "more slippery than Teflon" -- Independent research at the Technical University of Rochdale has found that Michael Gove is more slippery than Teflon – and that a patent has been applied for which could revolutionise the development of a new generation of non-stick pans. Rather than go to the expense and difficulty of sticking a non-stick coating to the inside […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQj

Move classrooms into pubs, says government -- After the Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes into pubs. This will have the advantage of adding parental supervision alongside teachers as they can all sit in the pub together and keep both schools and pubs open. “We […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQh The Three Rs, Uk Pub, British Pub, Make A Choice, Hospitality Industry, Muslim, Government

Move classrooms into pubs, says government - The Rochdale Herald

Move classrooms into pubs, says government -- After the Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes into pubs. This will have the advantage of adding parental supervision alongside teachers as they can all sit in the pub together and keep both schools and pubs open. “We […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQh

Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone -- A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in canoeing accident at Greenbooth Reservoir. Steve Dickinson, 43 and a bit, was tracked down by private investigators living in Panama after photos emerged of him buying an apparent in Panama City. Mr Dickinson is believed to […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQg Private Investigator, Canoeing, Panama City Panama, Dickinson, Reservoir, New Iphone, Accident

Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone - The Rochdale Herald

Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone -- A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in canoeing accident at Greenbooth Reservoir. Steve Dickinson, 43 and a bit, was tracked down by private investigators living in Panama after photos emerged of him buying an apparent in Panama City. Mr Dickinson is believed to […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQg

Tommy Robinson begins campaign to have himself deported from Spain - The Rochdale Herald

Tommy Robinson begins campaign to have himself deported from Spain -- Tommy Robinson has told the Spanish Government that he should be thrown out of Spain as he’s a foreign criminal unable to speak Spanish. A spokesman for Mr Robinson said, “Tommy has convictions for assault, mortgage fraud and using somebody else’s passport. As such, you have to wonder why the Spanish authorities have let him […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQf

Britain signs lucrative post Brexit tax avoidance deal with Lichtenstein -- Dominic Raab has announced that Britain is set to sign a very lucrative tax avoidance deal with Lichtenstein. A Government spokesman said, “This is a very important deal we’ve signed. There’s every chance that the Government will have to increase taxes over the coming months. With that in mind it’s great to be able to […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQe Tory Party, Falling Back In Love, Dover, Satire, Britain, Avoid

Britain signs lucrative post Brexit tax avoidance deal with Lichtenstein - The Rochdale Herald

Britain signs lucrative post Brexit tax avoidance deal with Lichtenstein -- Dominic Raab has announced that Britain is set to sign a very lucrative tax avoidance deal with Lichtenstein. A Government spokesman said, “This is a very important deal we’ve signed. There’s every chance that the Government will have to increase taxes over the coming months. With that in mind it’s great to be able to […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQe

Prince Andrew

Prince Philip

Prince Charles

Princess Beatrice Wedding

Rochdale Herald exclusive - Prince Andrew tells us about Princess Beatrice's wedding - The Rochdale Herald

Rochdale Herald exclusive - Prince Andrew tells us about Princess Beatrice's wedding -- In a Rochdale Herald exclusive Prince Andrew tells us how the secret wedding of his daughter Beatrice went last week. 7am – Woken up by Maude, my maid carrying my breakfast in. She puts it on the bed, opens the curtains and wishes me Good Morning and leaves. On the tray is the post. Mostly […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQd

Cummings replaced by Orwell in No.10 reshuffle -- Downing Street today confirmed that Dominic Cummings has been sacked and replaced by George Orwell as the government’s chief political advisor – effective immediately, The Rochdale Herald has learned. A new-speakesperson from the newly formed Ministry of Truth said, “…all government policy has been extensively borrowed from fiction and we realised we no longer needed […] -- -- https://fli2.me Barnard Castle, Normal School, Special Educational Needs, Top Secret, Headteacher, National Curriculum, Jeremy Corbyn

Barnard Castle

Normal School

Special Educational Needs

Cummings replaced by Orwell in No.10 reshuffle - The Rochdale Herald

Cummings replaced by Orwell in No.10 reshuffle -- Downing Street today confirmed that Dominic Cummings has been sacked and replaced by George Orwell as the government’s chief political advisor – effective immediately, The Rochdale Herald has learned. A new-speakesperson from the newly formed Ministry of Truth said, “…all government policy has been extensively borrowed from fiction and we realised we no longer needed […] -- -- https://fli2.me

E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire -- E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the Pennines, the Court of Appeal has ruled. Ms Begum, now 20, was one of three schoolgirls who left Rochdale to live in the so called ‘God’s Own County’ in 2015. Her […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQb Rochdale Town, Court Of Appeals, Permission, Yorkshire, Appealing, Ms, County

E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire - The Rochdale Herald

E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire -- E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the Pennines, the Court of Appeal has ruled. Ms Begum, now 20, was one of three schoolgirls who left Rochdale to live in the so called ‘God’s Own County’ in 2015. Her […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQb

Matt Hancock adds Straw Clutching to his cv as "transferable skill" -- Hot on the heels of Boris Johnson’s success in the Stable Door Shutting championships, the Health Secratary, Matt Hancock has added Straw Clutching to his own cv as a transferable skill a source at No. 10 has told The Rochdale Herald. Mr Hancock today called for an investigation into the way deaths related to the […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQa Spinal Injury, International Holidays, Four Hundred, University Life, British People, Tv News

Spinal Injury

International Holidays

Matt Hancock adds Straw Clutching to his cv as "transferable skill" - The Rochdale Herald

Matt Hancock adds Straw Clutching to his cv as "transferable skill" -- Hot on the heels of Boris Johnson’s success in the Stable Door Shutting championships, the Health Secratary, Matt Hancock has added Straw Clutching to his own cv as a transferable skill a source at No. 10 has told The Rochdale Herald. Mr Hancock today called for an investigation into the way deaths related to the […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQa

Conspiracy theorists conflicted as scientists announce mask wearing protects from 5G -- Conspiracy theorists have reported feeling conflicted after scientists revealed that wearing a mask protects wearers from 5G. Lab Tech, Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, ” Recent research suggests that people wearing masks don’t develop any side effects associated with 5G. Various members of the population have been wandering around in masks for the […] -- Computer Humor, Lab Tech, Flywheel, Conflicted, Conspiracy, Disappointment, Side Effects

Conspiracy theorists conflicted as scientists announce mask wearing protects from 5G - The Rochdale Herald

Conspiracy theorists conflicted as scientists announce mask wearing protects from 5G -- Conspiracy theorists have reported feeling conflicted after scientists revealed that wearing a mask protects wearers from 5G. Lab Tech, Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, ” Recent research suggests that people wearing masks don’t develop any side effects associated with 5G. Various members of the population have been wandering around in masks for the […] --

Goveid-19 now 'out of control' in UK. -- A new, highly infectious virus – Goveid-19 – has reached pandemic proportions throughout the UK, an investigation by The Rochdale Herald has revealed. Goveid-19 was first detected during the Conservative Party leadership election campaign in 2016 but was not at the time thought to be anything other than a minor irritant. The first person infected […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQ7 Election Campaign, South London, Tell The Truth, Freedom Of Movement, Proportion, Investigations

Goveid-19 now 'out of control' in UK. - The Rochdale Herald

Goveid-19 now 'out of control' in UK. -- A new, highly infectious virus – Goveid-19 – has reached pandemic proportions throughout the UK, an investigation by The Rochdale Herald has revealed. Goveid-19 was first detected during the Conservative Party leadership election campaign in 2016 but was not at the time thought to be anything other than a minor irritant. The first person infected […] -- -- https://fli2.me/2IAQ7